When a Christian is gossiping about another Christian or a leader, would it be wrong to set them straight?

Thank you for your question. Your question does not reveal whether people are coming to you with gossip or you are overhearing people gossip. If someone is gossiping to you, then you are responsible to let them know that you do not listen to gossip and politely ask them to refrain from doing so. That will usually solve the problem right away even if they seem offended at first. Most Christians will realize that gossiping is wrong and eventually ask for forgiveness.

In answering the question about overhearing someone gossip and bringing correction, let’s look at some scriptures that might help determine when and how to bring correction to others when they are in error. These principles will also apply to correcting someone who is gossiping.

Romans 15:14:

And I myself also am persuaded of you, my brethren, that ye also are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge, able also to admonish one another.

This scripture tells us as believers that as we fill our lives with the goodness and knowledge of the Word of God that we will be able (or capable) to admonish one another. The word “admonish” in the Greek means to reprove or caution gently.

2 Thessalonians 3:14: 

And if any man obey not our word by this epistle, note that man, and have no
company with him, that he may be ashamed.

2 Thessalonians 3:15: 

Yet count him not as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.

This is the same word to reprove or caution gently. There are times that we are called by God to admonish another Christian brother or sister. However, this correction must be done in love or gently.

Galatians 6:1: 

Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such a one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.

Here we see that when we bring correction to another believer that there are conditions and guiding principles to do it. First of all, correction should be done by a person who is spiritual. This means someone walking in fellowship with God who has judged his or her own sins by confessing them to God. (1 John 1:9) As we have seen in Romans 15:14, we will be able to bring true loving and godly correction when we are filled with both the goodness and knowledge of God’s Word. Next, the correction needs to be done in meekness and gentleness. We should not stand on our soap box and preach to others or condemn them with harshness. Those who are spiritual know their own fleshly tendency towards sin and realize that they can only walk free from sin by God’s grace, His Word, and His Spirit. Therefore, those who are spiritual are slow to judge or be harsh. Lastly, we need to examine our own lives to see if we are guilty of the very thing that we are about to correct another about.

Matthew 7:1-5:

Judge not, that ye be not judged. 2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. 3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? 4  Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? 5  Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.

Often we judge others not realizing we are guilty of the same thing, although the circumstances might be slightly different.

Now let’s look at the book of Proverbs for some more guidelines for bringing correction to others. The book of Proverbs is wisdom for living. It contains practical wisdom for bringing correction to others.

Proverbs 27:6: 

Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.

Again when you bring correction to another it might offend them at first. It is painful to be confronted with truth or with correction when we are wrong. Our pride gets hurt. But faithful are the wounds of a friend. This verse brings out another important point on giving instruction. In most cases you need to earn the right to bring correction to others. Notice that the wounds of a FRIEND are faithful not wounds of a stranger! If someone knows you are correcting them because you love them they will be much more open to receive it. If you have not established a relationship with the person you are correcting, they will probably say, “Mind your own business!” Or, “Go jump in the lake!” If someone is your friend, you know what kind of person they are and whether or not they will be helped by your correction. Because some people are resistant to correction, they will not be helped until they have a change of heart.

Proverbs 23:9:

Speak not in the ears of a fool: for he will despise the wisdom of thy words.

Proverbs 9:8: 

Reprove not a scorner, lest he hate thee: rebuke a wise man, and he will love thee.

We are not to rebuke a scorner. We are to rebuke a wise person. Again, if you are not friends with the person you are trying to correct, how can you determine whether they are a foolish scorner or a wise person? Also note that no one is ever beyond correction. Because we are still in the flesh, even wise people will make mistakes and need correction. But the difference between a wise person and the fool is the wise person will love you for bringing correcting from God’s Word.

Here are some general guidelines for bringing correction:

1. Fill yourself with the goodness and knowledge of God by staying in God’s Word and prayer.
2. Correct with gentleness
3. Examine your own life for what the other person has done
4. Examine your motives for bringing correction; is it selfish or motivated by love?
5. Have you earned the right to bring correction—are you friend?
6. Will this correction be helpful? Is the person you are correcting wise or a scorner?
7. Lastly, has God instructed you to bring correction to the other person? Often people want to correct others out of a prideful or critical heart with the motive of “straightening out” the other person.

I hope this has helped. Pray, and follow love and peace.

God bless,

Rick McFarland
Director/Singles Director
Grace Church